Episode Two: #sideboobseduction

[sallie]

Alec got evicted! It was an extremely emotional eviction. There were tears, people screaming "WHY!? WHHHY!?" and I think I even saw Helen sobbing into one of Alec's old, left behind g-strings. It's a sad day when the star of the BBCharm house gets evicted......

Oh...wait! Excuse me, sorry, my bad. I was picturing what it would be like if I got evicted, not Alec. Yeah, no one gave two fucking fucks about Alec. We actually all did a tequila shot after he left and shouted in unison "AYE YI YI!"


So after Alec got shoved out of the house, it was time for the all important HoH Competition! My alliance of Nick, Gina and Gary all determined that it was super important for us to win HoH again this week. We don't really trust any of the other pairs in the house at all really and none of us can really confirm who they would nominate if they won HoH, so it's better for us if we keep the power in our hands. The worst couples to win HoH would be 1. Eric and Chima, 2. Elissa and Helen and 3. Sam and Layla.

Our alliance walking out into the backyard for the second HoH Competition:


The HoH competition was fun! It was kind of hard, like I didn't know a lot of the answers, but it was still fun. What wasn't fun was that Elissa won......ughhhh. On a personal level, I do actually really like Elissa, but from what I have heard from Gary and Gina is that she is a huge major cunt. Apparently, her and Gary don't get a long very weel, so her winning is far from ideal because I wouldn't be surprised if she nominated Gina and Gary or even Nick and I.

Once the HoH competition was over, we immediately went to see Elissa's HoH room. Elissa's HoH room sucked. I'm not going to even attempt at faking a smile or complementing it like the other Houseguests, because her HoH room is just a disgrace to everything that is cool. Clearly Elissa is like 85 because everything in her room is something that an 85-year-old would love. When the door opened, I got excited because I thought I saw a huge red box of wine! I pushed Elissa and the rest of the Houseguests out of the way so I could get to the wine first and snatch it for myself, but when I got there I realized that it was a lame, sodium filled box of CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP!? Who the fuck asks for a fucking box of chicken noodle soup!? "OHMAHGURD GAAARRRLLL, I CANNOT wait until I win HoH so I can get mah soup, yall!" WHAT!? NO! It should be like "I CANNOT wait until I win HoH so I can get my ginormous box of wine and one straw so I don't have to share with any of you greedy skanks!" Ugh, these people.

Putting the soup aside and onto more pressing matters.....who the hell is Elissa going to nominate!? After everyone left the HoH room, I stayed behind because I wanted to talk to Elissa about what she wanted to do about the Nominations. The thing that concerned me the most is that she said she trusts me and likes me a lot. I feel like she is being fake with me because I don't really understand why she would trust me as of yet? Like, I don't really feel like we have built that strong of a connection to develop any sort of trust. So, that statement kind of scares me.


CHAT WITH ELISSA

skyferrerorocher: Awww! So I really like and trust you. What are you thinking I should do for the nominations?
sideboobsallie: Aww thanks!
sideboobsallie: Hmm, well, it's too bad you have to put up an entire pair
sideboobsallie: I just feel like the isn't an entire pair thats fully or semi inactive
sideboobsallie: Like, personally, I haven't spoken to Chima yet
sideboobsallie: apparently she just signs on offline
sideboobsallie: and stays there
sideboobsallie: so if I won, I probably would have nommed her
sideboobsallie: just because I haven't spoken to her
sideboobsallie: But, then, I really like Eric!
sideboobsallie: and he's really easy to talk to
skyferrerorocher: I'm the same way.
skyferrerorocher: The obvious choice to me is Sam and Layla
sideboobsallie: That was going to be my second point
sideboobsallie: I like Sam, although, I find talking to Eric a lot easier
sideboobsallie: than talking to him
sideboobsallie: Layla is like never on
skyferrerorocher: And Sam's a big threat,
sideboobsallie: and Chima is quite active on the forum
sideboobsallie: Do you think?
sideboobsallie: I always feel like our conversaitons go no where lolz
skyferrerorocher: Yeah.
skyferrerorocher: He came second in the HoH!
skyferrerorocher: That's impressive
sideboobsallie: True!
sideboobsallie: And I have heard that a lot of people do actually like him
sideboobsallie: so, I mean, that's a threat right there
skyferrerorocher: It's kind of bitter because there are no BAD pairs.
sideboobsalliemmhmm!
skyferrerorocher: There's no pair that everyone hates.
sideboobsallie: right!
sideboobsallie: An interesting thought to
sideboobsallie: is like, I know in games keeping someone who is less active/not a threat is totally frowned upon
sideboobsallie: but like, in this game
sideboobsallie: where the veto shakes up the partners
sideboobsallie: Or wait, the golden key thing
sideboobsallie: I was just going to say
sideboobsallie: like say if Sam went
sideboobsallie: than Layla could possibly become someone else's partner, right?
sideboobsallie: So that would potentially weaken them
sideboobsallie: I dunno
sideboobsallie: if that makes sense though
skyferrerorocher: Right.
sideboobsallie: Has anyone else spoken to you about it?
sideboobsallie: What does Helen want to do?
skyferrerorocher: She's saying Sam and Layla
skyferrerorocher: but I don't want Sam mad at me
sideboobsallie: Well, I feel like if he goes up
sideboobsallie: you could just say he's the pawn
sideboobsallie: which would be obvious looking because Layla was nominated last week
skyferrerorocher: I put up them, hopefully one comes down, I put up Eric. Chima gets paired witht the person who comes down, right?
skyferrerorocher: I think that'd be a smart move to maybe keep the game on that pair.
sideboobsallie: Yeah, I think that's how it works
sideboobsallie: yeah!
sideboobsallie: good point
skyferrerorocher: that way our pairs stay in tact.
sideboobsallie: it would be smart to somehow set it up for next week to have an obvious pair to nominate no matter who wins HoH
sideboobsallie: Like if Chima gets paired with Sam or Layla, whichever one comes off
sideboobsallie: than they could be the potential target for week 3?
sideboobsallie: or at least if someone wins who no one is really sure about
skyferrerorocher :Exactly.
sideboobsallie: people could just push for Chima and whoever to go up
sideboobsallie: I think that is a smart way to go
sideboobsallie: because you get someone out this week and then make someone a target for next week
sideboobsallie: so you get to like cover your tracks

So, I completely threw Sam, my true love, under the bus. But, I'd rather stay and win the game than ben with Sam, so if he must be nominated for my safety, than so be it! *sheds tear*

I don't know if this is what Elissa is going to do. I got an odd feeling from our conversation that she is going to put up me and Nick. I don't know, maybe I'm just paranoid. She asked me if I lived with Nick because apparently we both messaged her at like the exact same time? My guess is that she thinks we're like the same person, lmao.

Hopefully I get to talk to her one more time before she makes her nominations and maybe I can seduce her with my sideboob.

[sallie]

I've had several drinks, so there might be more grammar and spelling mistakes than normal. Basically, this entire confessional will be like the last Veto competition where you have to unscramble words, because bitches won't know what I'm sayin'. I'm actually a good drunk typer though *sips vodka lime*

SO! Sam and Layla actually got nominated! PHEW! Thank god! I was actually super nervous. I wasn't sure what secrets Elissa was hiding in her long, long hair, so when she told me she was going to nominate Sam and Elissa, I took that as code as "YOU GOIN' ON THE BLOCK, HOE!", buuuuuuuutttttt, luckily, Nick and I were safe and Elissa was actually telling the truth. Sam and Layla were nominated.

My initial erection (omg seriously, I ACTUALLY typed erection, even though I meant reaction, I am not even going to to back and change that!) was that same is haaaaawwwwt and needs to stay. But, then I decided that Layla is kind of a bitch and talks to know one, sooooo, even though Sam is forever and always my true love, it might actually be smarter if he goes. Like, he is more sociable than Layla and people seem to like him more, which makes him more of a threat.

When it came to picking people for the Veto Competition, I actually got picked! I was super pumped to play! I really want to win the veto, because if I were to win, I would probably keep the nominations the same (even though I would love to see Chima's gaping butthole up on the block and out of the house). Gina also got picked, so we have really good chances at acquiring the power!

The Veto competition was Hilarious! Basically, we have decided that we love Layla and she can sit with us. You see, when the house breaks for lunch, everyone divides up into little groups. There's the not-so-cool asian, the people who eat their feelings, the sex maniacs, the wannabe fabulous and fierce people and then the actual fabulous and fierce people. We have decided that Layla is fabulous and fierce enough to sit with us (as long as she wears pink on Wednesdays and doesn't date any of our exes). Layla was hilarious during the Veto competition! Every time she trashed Elissa, I laughed. This makes me want to keep Elissa in the game over my beloved Sam.

I ended up winning the Never Have Not Pass during the Veto comp! That means I can NEVER be a have not! I'm pumped for this! Clearly, I am a HAVE in life and Jesus wants me to be a HAVE in here, too. The best part about it is that I never have to worry about disadvantages in Competitions. So, I feel like the farther I go in the game, the better this advantage will be!

[sallie]

I vote to evict Poopdeck

I'd rather Poopdeck stay, but I think this is what the majority of the house is going to do and I can't be the odd one out.

Goodbye Message to Sam
Sam, you are my true love an always will be (only because you're the only other hot person in the house). I wish we could have had sex, stay hot <3

Goodbye Message to Poopdeck
Poopdeck, I think you're hilarious! I really wanted you to stay but the majority of the house was voting this way. I just want you to know that I'd poop on your deck any day. Stay Funny <3